Narciscia says:
DUDE we literally can rewrite every scene with hair references ... it can be done!
Franglaisy says:
I swear it can
Narciscia says:
LETS DO THIS
(Here is the original post franglaisy made about the MSN convo that started this)

Now onto the show!  ....

The story of one man and one woman and their quest to find the prophesied hair style. Their epic quest for hair perfection is tested at every turn by those with no style and no originality. Will they ever find the ultimate hair style? Or are they fated to be forever fizzed-up?

MINI (series) STYLIST

Bill: what do you see Starbuck?

Starbuck: nothing but silky smooth

Bill: then grab the curlers and start styling

Starbuck: yes sir

***

Bill: We are at war and you have stolen my hair straighteners?

***

Bill: Action stations action stations, set conditioner one throughout the ship. This is not a drill.

Tigh: launch alert curlers!

***

Bill: This is the Commander. Moments ago, this ship received word of a dandruff attack against our homeworlds is under way. We do not know the size or the disposition or the strength of the enemy little white flakes, but all indications point to a massive assault against Colonial defences. You've trained for this. You're ready for this. Stand to your duties, trust your fellow stylists, and we'll all get through this. Further updates as we get them. Thank you.

***

Bill: It's not unknown. I know where it is! Toni and Guys hair salon--the most guarded secret we have. The location was only known by the senior commanders of the fleet, and we dared not share it with the public. Not while there was a dandruff threat upon us. For now we have a refuge to go to. A refuge that the flakes know nothing about! It won't be an easy journey. It will be long and arduous. But I promise you one thing. On the memory of those lying here before you, we shall find it. And Toni and Guys will become our new home. So style we all!

Crew: SO STYLE WE ALL!!!

HOME 2 (HAIR 2)

Bill: Every hair style is a gift

Laura: From Hair Style Magazine

Bill: No from you. Without you my hair would be sticking up at the back, my sons would be fizzy at the sides. I wont second-guess that hair style advice and neither should you... it was made of win

RESURRECTION SHIP (RESTYLING SHIP)

Bill: What can I get you?

Laura: a new set of straighteners, one of those Babybliss models

Bill: I can't see you with straight hair

Laura: You'd be surprised

***

Laura: (About Cain) She will try to frizz your hair - DON’T LET HER

***

Laura: I believe the correct term for a hair dresser who works on more than one person is a stylist

Bill: *flails* OMGZ YOU GUYZ!

LAY DOWN YOUR PRODUCTS

Bill: You stole the election?
Laura: Yes
Bill: You will die inside, likely push the shine right out of your hair.
Laura: So Baltar wins?
Bill: He might have won stylist of the year but he won't win the lifetime achievement award

UNFINISHED BUSINESS (UNFINISHED STYLING)

Bill: (To Laura) that hair style looks good on you

***

Laura: I didn’t expect to find you playing with curling tongs, how ... homoerotic

Bill: these aren’t curling tongs; these are actually Style 4000 with inbuilt ceramic heating system and 5 different ways of styling short to medium hair

***

Bill: Got a woman by a stream, gonna show her all my hair products

***

Laura: is this it bill? Is this how our hair will look for all of our days?

***

Laura: Lets just enjoy this

Bill: I am

Laura: no really enjoy this

Bill: Ok, I brought my curlers, lets make each other up

TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR (HAIR) WORRIES

Bill: It’s not too late for Baltar's frizz to disappear

Laura: no, we can’t do that, for all intents and purposes his hair is his own business

Bill: so what now?

Laura: we send him Style Magazine

*Bill looks pensive*

A DAY IN THE LIFE (A DAY IN THE SALON):

Bill:*looking at curlers again* Do you ever think about the times I curled with you?

Laura: I got really styled that night

***

Laura: Bill

Bill: *looks up*

Laura: I absolutely did borrow your curlers

DIRTY HANDS (DIRTY HAIR):

Bill: (To Laura) You are always welcome in one of my salons

CROSSROADS 2 (CROSSWEAVE)

Bill: get your dull, lifeless hair out of that rack Roslin. Don't let them see you silky smooth!

***

Cottle: you just completed your first treatment. Next time bring a magazine - all the ladies do

Laura: Talk about the treatment being worse than the original style. FYI - if my hair falls out I'll sue

*Cottle panics*

ESCAPE VELOCITY:

Bill: but then your hair fell out and I couldn’t remember how to copy the look... so I read a hair magazine
Laura: did that help?
Bill: I don’t know, I didn’t finish it, I didn’t want it to end
Laura: ffs you NEED to start finishing books. Next you will be telling me you never finished the flight manual
Bill: .... 

***

Bill: My hair was curless less, that's what scared me *looks at curlers* You came into my thoughts, I used you, and it looks good 

FAITH:

Bill: "I never used to curl my hair
Laura: "What changed?
Bill: "You, you made me believe I could have manageable curls with lustre and bounce
Laura: “Oh Bill...”
 

SINE QUA NON (WITHOUT WHICH HAIRSTYLE):

Tigh: We'll find her Bill
Bill: Good because she has my straighteners

***

Bill: How long have they got?

Cottle: Well heating up really kicks your ass so they actually might feel better

***

Bill: This is the raptor she took to the baseship salon
Tigh: How do you know?
Bill: I found her hair styling magazine 

***

   Bill: Spool up the FTL
Tigh: we're just going to leave the fleet unconditioned!?
Bill: lets go

***

*Looks at wrecked Baseship Salon*

Tigh: That looks like her weave
Bill: That is SO not her weave
Tigh: Bill… you are way to close to this
Bill: It’s not her weave, the parting is ALL wrong!

***

Bill: You watch what you frakking say about my curls. At least I'm not bald
Tigh: MOTHERFRAKKER!
*bitch slap ensues*

***

Lee: Why are you doing this dad?
Bill: Because she has my hair curlers 

THE HUB

Bill: Missed you

Curlers: *heating up*

Bill: About time 

(Hair) REVELATIONS

*At the Cylons Salon*

Bill: I'm not leaving you with your hair looking like that
Laura: You need to do a total restyle
Bill *looks shocked*

***

Tigh: I like to freestyle
Bill: You can’t be: you had hair when I met you!

***

Bill: We wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for you
Laura: *flicks hair*
Bill: You give the order
Laura: It’s been a long time coming
Bill *smiles and stares lovingly*
Laura: OK, take us to the 'Two Haircuts for the Price of One' hair salon round the corner
Gaeta: Yes Ma'am

***

*looks at the white trash salon*

Laura: Salon....

*everyone looks crushed, D'Anna's hair is in total disarray. Everyone is just walking around with their hair in various stages of completion... the salon has NO products

RANDOM QUOTES FROM VARIOUS EPISODES

 *** 

Bill: You can quote me every regulation in the book, I AM GETTING MY STRAIGHTENERS!

 *** 

Lee: I thought we were just washing our hair

Bill: That’s why you don't win- at having incredibly silky soft hair like mine

 ***

Bill: I'll never be free of them, nor do I want to be, because my roots are all that I am and will always be

 *** 

Admiral Cain: (to Gina, number six) Frak you!

Gina(number six) With your hair? You aren't my type.  

*** 

Bill: Sometimes you have to roll the hard six
Tigh: Huh?
Bill: The hard six......*waves heated rollers* setting six- it's the best heat
Tigh: Right......*Tigh marches off barking his order* SETTING SIX, YOU HEARD THE OLD MAN. SETTING SIX! 

*men hurry to turn the heat setting to six* 

Gaeta: It is the best heat displays curls 

*cue ohhsss and Ahhhhhs*

THE END

Franglaisy says:

I will never be able to watch any of those scenes without totally pissing myself laughing

Narciscia says:

   we ruined bsg…